Awash with Insecurity?

I’ve found in recent months a strong tendency towards insecurity.  What is it that perpetuates this vicious self-defeating cycle in my heart, mind and soul? The answer is varied and includes a  recognition of my inadequacies, a desire for perfection, and a focus on me.  My insecurities haven’t arisen from a lack of love from family, friends, or my God; He gave His life for me.  It does, however, affect friends and family as they expend their energy boosting my self-confidence and saddens my Father who showers me with His love.  How much more I would accomplish if I devoted that same energy to sharing God’s love.

About a year and a half ago, I read the book, Kisses From Katie.

It is an inspirational true story of a 18 year old woman who is modeling her life after Jesus through self-sacrifice and love in Uganda.  She does this by adopting 13 orphan girls and transforming a poor community by establishing a feeding program for the children and a vocational program for the mothers.  She is filled with and displays God’s grace, patience, joy and love and shares those gifts with those she serves.  How can my life be all about me when Jesus life was poured out for me?  How can I continually doubt his presence when He tells me to ask and He will fill me with His gifts of the Spirit, Mark 11.  I know He will fill me because I’ve seen His fruit become manifest in the lives of others.

My prayer today is for forgiveness.  I ask for forgiveness for minimizing your power, goodness and mercy.  Forgiveness for not asking and therefore not receiving.  Forgiveness for being filled with me rather than being filled with You.  I love you Lord.

1 Corinthians 12:1-11

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I do not want you to be ignorant: You know that you were Gentiles, carried away to these dumb idols, however you were led. Therefore I make known to you that no one speaking by the Spirit of God calls Jesus accursed, and no one can say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit.

There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.